Why is it so difficult to prioritize making time for yourself as a mom?
I am almost three years into mom life and I suck at scheduling time for myself.
Sure I think about it all the time. Really like daydreaming about the time when I was able to do whatever and whenever I wanted.
But I never seem to take any real action in guaranteeing that time to myself.
Nope, that doesn’t happen to me because I am superwoman…at least I like to pretend I am.
I am not superwoman. I am human. Sometimes things become too much to handle.
The kids. The house. Maintaining a strong connection with my husband. My own thoughts.
I cannot thrive in all of these areas of my life when I am drained from not fulfilling my own wants and needs.
One thing you need to know about me is I hate admitting that I can’t do something. I refuse to ask for help…for anything.
It seems that if I ask for help, I am admitting that I am incapable of something I know that someone else can do.
The problem here is not that I do not have any freedom or time for myself…it is my mindset regarding the process of obtaining alone time for myself.
Change In Mindset
I am sitting here at Starbucks writing this post while I am actually by myself.
I have not been completed by myself in months. No babies. No husband. And no pets.
Just me in my own company enjoying this delicious Maciouto.
You see I did something different today. I prioritized myself. I asked for help.
And damn does it feel good.
I stopped believing that it makes me incapable. Instead, I believed that it empowered me.
I am not a burden by asking for help. In fact, I am providing an opportunity for my mother in law to bond with her grandbabies.
I know I will come back a better version of myself. One because I have some afternoon caffeine in me, but two because I am refreshed. I have been relieved for a short time, providing me a mental break.
If you are a stay at home mom, I know you understand what I mean. It can feel like we are trapped at times.
I love my girls more than anything but I hate the trapped feeling that comes with motherhood. I hate the guilt that comes with doing anything for myself.
Maybe it is a phase during the little years when their needs are so demanding and plentiful, And maybe it is my fault for not prioritizing myself enough. Sometimes that mom guilt gets the best of me.
But whatever the reason it is, it has to stop.
Ensuring alone time for mom is essential for creating a happy and healthy motherhood.
I am determined to continue to make motherhood as joyful as I can for myself and for my children. Even during the hard seasons.
Motherhood should not be remembered as all the sacrifices made for our identity as “mom”. But rather adjustments to who we are now, making sure we make time to continue to nurture who we are as individuals when we are not in the “mom” role.
Prioritize Time For Yourself
So do me a favor mama, schedule alone time for yourself right now after reading this. Don’t wait because it will get pushed to the bottom of the to-do list and never get done.
Need some ideas of what you will do during your “mom” time?
- Have a lunch/coffee date with a friend
- Have a coffee date by yourself
- Go to a cafe and read
- Get your nails done
- Get a haircut/color treatment
- Spa day
- Go to a yoga class/workout session
- Go shopping for YOU (Solo target trip??)
- If it is summer or sunny by you, layout by the pool (remember relaxing outside instead of running laps around the pool after the little ones? Yeah I miss those days too girl.)
Whatever you do, don’t waste it on doing stuff around the house. Make sure it is something you enjoy and that it is for YOU!
Put it on the calendar now.